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  1. Back To Top    #1
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    Token Black Guy JoshLail's Avatar
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    What to Do or Say?

    The unwanted sequel that no one wanted. Serious or joking inquires, I'd just like to get other's input.

    I met a girl last week who I think is attractive. She has a nice body. She is kind of nerdy and likes to play video games, which I don't mind because I occasionally play them as well. She is a school teacher and just recently graduated college last year. The thing is, I don't really want to date her or become anything serious. She lives 40 minutes away, I begin going to graduate school in the Fall which will be 2 hours away and I don't want a summer fling. Her and I met up last week a couple times and the last time we did stuff. Oddly, it wasn't fun. I felt kind of guilty because I was allowing the two of us to do intimate things while knowing that I didn't want to date her or become anything serious. She continues to text me and is trying to get me to drive to her place this week since it's spring break and she doesn't have to teach this week. She told me to come over tomorrow so she can make me food and play games with her, but I really don't want to do anything "intimate" with her again and I don't want to give her any ideas that I want to date her.

    What should I do or say to her, nicely, that lets her know I don't mind talking and hanging out with her but I don't want anything more than that? Ultimately I don't want to lead her on and then let her down. I've been in that spot and it sucks.

    @HateForTheMasses this is for you as I know you were ready for a sequel.

    Edit: I of course asked my dude friends what I should do and they all gave me the same answer: hit it and quit it, which is moronic. So I'm asking you guys and gals.

  2. Back To Top    #2
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    Governor John Dixon's Avatar

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    This sounds like a job for Martha Stewart! If she can't help you, no one can!

    Or you could just skip that step and tell her the truth. Trust me dude, lying to women just ends up making things worse. A LOT worse.

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    Token Black Guy JoshLail's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Dixon View Post
    This sounds like a job for Martha Stewart! If she can't help you, no one can!

    Or you could just skip that step and tell her the truth. Trust me dude, lying to women just ends up making things worse. A LOT worse.
    Very true. Women have a seventh sense to detect bullshit. That's why I need to figure out how to tell her the truth in a way that isn't harsh.

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    Governor John Dixon's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by JoshLail View Post
    Very true. Women have a seventh sense to detect bullshit. That's why I need to figure out how to tell her the truth in a way that isn't harsh.
    Just say these 4 magic words and I promise you it will all go away: "I have genital warts". Might be a lie. But it's a lie that she won't want to know if you're bullshitting about, lol.

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    Governor Dark Nimbus's Avatar

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    Oh sweet baby Jesus. Dude, I can tell if a guy is lying in text, so if you lie to her face there's a pretty good chance she's going to know. Nobody likes to think that someone else doesn't think they are attractive. You already took a step into the more than just friends direction. That's on you. If you now want to dial it back then you are now totally at the mercy of her ego. She's either a girl who can be friends or she can't. The thing about life is that you learn this shit as you go along. Some people you can have feelings for, but it's either not reciprocated or not enough. You can still be friends as long as you abide by the rules which mean not confusing the situation again. Doesn't mean you might not have feelings at some point in the future, but you just have to be aware that if you act on them there might be consequences you don't want.
    What you need to do right now is create some space. Sometimes people can't take no for an answer. They think they are so amazing, how could you possibly not feel the same and come around? Particularly if they dangle the carrot of possible intimacy. You don't have to be brutal, but you do have to be firm. Clingy girls turn into psycho girls. Bear that in mind.

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    Easy.. Fuck her. I mean get "intimate"

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    Governor Dark Nimbus's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay_Mac View Post
    Easy.. Fuck her. I mean get "intimate"
    You really want her to boil his bunny don't you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nimbus View Post
    You really want her to boil his bunny don't you.
    Why not? Then they can trade bunny boiling stories lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay_Mac View Post
    Why not? Then they can trade bunny boiling stories lol
    You're mixing up your movie genres! He's The Silence Of The Lambs, she's obviously more Fatal Attraction...

    ...what goes around, comes around though...

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    Governor TAWX14's Avatar
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    Dude to dude, it's seems pretty shitty to do stuff and be intimate (does that outright mean sex??) and then question how to tell her you don't want a relationship. That should've been first. You can't say "Ultimately I don't want to lead her on and then let her down" when seemingly you've already done that. Best thing you can do is just be front up and tell her your schedule isn't going to work out and you think it's better if y'all are just friends.

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