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    TWD Alternate Parody Universe

    Welcome to our humble little TWD universe where nothing is as it seems and everything you think you know about our beloved TWD characters is completely ass backwards. This is mine and Nimbus' little fic where no character is safe from being poked at and made fun of. We try to not play favorites and laugh at all equally(ok, maybe some have it a little rougher than others).

    This whole idea actually originated in the McGovernah thread and was initially focused primarily on that crackship, but it just kept expanding to the point where it could no longer be contained in that thread so we moved it here to Serial Zombie Fiction. You will see that there is a lot of playing with time here as we had to go back and catch on the other character's stories that have become more prominent.

    We really hope you enjoy it. Fell free to leave feedback as one never knows when something that is said in a comment might spark our imaginations and be used in the story later on.

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    NimbusForTheMasses Alternative Walking Dead.

    For anyone new to our universe,a re-cap of our original key players:

    Ms McLeod.Goddess in human form.The Gov called her his boo,you can call her 'Your Majesty'.

    The Governah! Jazz-hands specialist.He knew that no-one would understand the magnificence of his love for McLeod,so he had to 'Kill Em' All!'.

    Gargulio. The Gov and McLeod's love-child.You would think that such prime genetic material would create something slightly more awesome and god-like...apparently not.

    Lizzie. Adopted Psycho.She was the child The Governah and McLeod should have had,so now they are united.

    Milton Mamet. 'The Butler'. Like C-3PO in a meat-suit.

    And finally,Shumptinez-The Rival (Crack) Ship.Look at them,they think they're so hot,but they will never beat McGovernah! Never!


    Arch-Nemeses of McGovernah:

    Team 'so-called' Family. Wilfully and with malice prevented the Gov and McLeod from realising their dream of being the proud owners of their very own prison/dream home/love-dungeon.Held particularly responsible...........

    'Crazy' Rick Grimes.Ringleader/Troublemaker........... and Michonne. Accomplice/One-Woman army. They also showed up just in time to prevent the re-animation of Andrea. McLeod will not let this stand. She was counting on keeping Andrea as her own walker-pet. McLeod is coming for them all!




    Additional Players:

    Andrea. Her indiscretion with the Gov cost her her life.After McLeod had administered a punishment beating to the Governah,she insisted the situation was 'dealt with'-we all know how THAT turned out.

    Merle.He wanted in on the inner circle of McGovernah,but with only one hand could not perform Jazz-hands to the Gov's satisfaction. He was exiled despite his many gifts as an inventor.

    And Oscar.He fits in somewhere along the line,possibly.......possibly not.............. @HateForTheMasses knows,but he's not telling.........

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    McGovernah:Episode II. The Quest for the Orange Backpack.

    It is a dark time for McGovernah. The precious orange backpack has been intercepted by Team Family. In it,the Gov's spare eyepatches,McLeod's Bengay cream and other items of an 'intimate personal nature'. The solution. A crack team of Bounty Hunter's led by Abuela, McLeod's own mentor and inspiration,have been dispatched to return the backpack or die trying.

    McLeod's Special Bounty Hunter Unit.

    Abuela. Team Leader. Hanging out with the Vatos was just a cover. Abuela is a crack mercenary,mentor to McLeod and now Special Unit Leader of McLeod's Bounty Hunter Team.

    Percy. Master of Disguise/Undercover Agent. Looks harmless enough,but knows 101 ways to kill a man armed with only strawberries.

    Axel. Mustache and weapons expert/Ladies' Man. Think Face from The A-Team but with way more charisma.

    Nicholas. Professional Douchebag/Decoy. Lord I hope they feed him to a walker.

    Jessie. AKA 'The Fredo' AKA 'Supercuts'. Specialist skills:to be determined.Based on evidence seen,not many.

    Oscar......BUT WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT OSCAR DAMMIT!





    Walker Decoy Pets:

    Walker Randall. Infinitely more use in death than he ever was in life.

    Walker Penny Blake. It is unknown if McLeod knows that Penny is the Gov's daughter,but Abuela is taking her 'just for fun'.



    Failure is not an option. Looking in the backpack is not an option either. Unless you want to end up as a head floating in a fish tank. McLeod is deadly serious and she will have revenge! (and her Bengay).

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    There's a good reason Lily's death was not shown on screen. One night during pillow talk, Gov slipped up and admitted to their little back of the truck experience. McLeod played it cool at first so he kept talking. Big mistake. The idea of Gov getting attached to her kid was too much for Mcleoad to handle. She jerked his ass up out of bed and let him know they were going on a hunt. Well, as it would have it, Lily had forgiven him for the events of the prison and was also looking for him. They ran across her in the woods and Lily ran like she was going to jump into Gov's arms. Oh my, that did not sit well. On her way toward running to him she was met with a McLeodLine(New level clothesline from hell). This knocked the wind out of her amd then in a split second it was like McLeod went all Incredible Hulk on her. Even Gov was scared. The rest is unknown as she swore him to secrecy. All we do know is that the attack was so vicious that others assumed that a herd of walkers had gotten her. Nope! Just the jealous wrath of McLeod. Gov is no longer allowed in the back of trucks. He actually runs when he sees one now just so there is no confusion.

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    McGovernah:III. Return of the Backpack.


    Abuela and her crack team of bounty hunters,accompanied by walker pets Randall and Penny,are on their way to the prison to retrieve the mighty orange backpack from Rick Grimes and Team Family who have maliciously stolen it with intent to possess it's precious and kinky contents.

    Travelling through the forest terrain on route to the prison they are suddenly ambushed by Gargulio,McLeod and the Governah's love-child.Determined to prove himself to his parents as a super bad-ass and upset that he was not chosen for the mission,he appears from the undergrowth and attacks Abuela and her team with the stump-knife that he had stolen from master inventor Merle.The ensuing fight is violent and requires all of Abuela's WWE training.Gargulio stabs and kills Nicholas,but of course no-one cares. Abuela neutralizes the threat by applying her signature move,the 'Arthritic Leg-lock' to Gargulio and breaks his neck.

    Abuela,realizing there will be serious consequences for her actions but unwilling to abandon the mission,cuts off his head and takes it in the hope that the Gov will overlook her indiscretion if he has a new head for his fish-tank.

    The remaining group approach the prison.They see a sign outside the gates:

    Visitors with a cough will not be admitted.Violators of this rule will be burned on sight!

    They are also alerted to the presence of persons unknown in the guard tower,due to some 'interesting' noises.Abuela knows the score.Last time she heard noises like that it was McGovernah's wedding night and she needed three months of therapy just to forget.She turns off her hearing aid.Luckily the persons unknown are too busy to notice Abuela's team and the group are able to gain access to the prison unobserved.

    Abuela turns her hearing aid up to full volume and is able to detect activity beyond the gates.They are amazed to find that it is adopted Psycho Lizzie.Who has returned to the prison in order to find her walker friend Nick (Different Nick,not Nicholas obviously,no-one cares about him).Abuela knows that by returning McGovernah's favourite child,there is a chance that they might overlook the Gargulio 'incident' so she leaves Jessie to guard Lizzie and Nick and sets off with the rest of the team to finish the task at hand.

    As the team enters the prison perimeter they see a lone figure,unassuming and small in stature. Abuela is not fooled,she knows that this is Carol Peletier Team Family's explosives and incendiary weapons expert.This serious opponent will take careful handling,so Abuela dispatches Axel to deploy a charm offensive.
    Although wary at first,Carol is soon intrigued by this well-groomed and urbane gentleman.Axel's luxuriant mustache and white-hot pick up line of "You're quite a lady" are a powerful combination and Carol is soon distracted.Clearing the way for Abuela and her team.

    On entering the prison,the team discover that the entire Team Family are attending a Calisthenics class led by Michonne and that the backpack has been left completely unattended.Abuela grabs the backpack,but what can she do,she needs to establish that the contents are safe but no-one that looks in the backpack can live! Oscar forces Percy at gunpoint to look.Percy confirms that the contents are indeed intact but then begs Oscar to end his life.He cannot live with the knowledge of what he has seen! Abuela kills him with a prison shiv and they take his corpse so that the walkers can have a light snack before the journey home.

    Abuela's team exit the prison armed with the backpack and retrieve Axel from where he is still putting the moves on Carol. Realizing she has been duped,Carol reaches into her pocket and grabs her portable canteen of petrol,dousing Axel. She lights a match,daring Abuela to make a move.At that moment they are all distracted by screaming,walker Nick is eating Jessie! The noise alerts the occupants of the guard tower,it's Glenn and Maggie heavily armed!


    What can Abuela do....how can she salvage the mission....will anybody care if Nick eats Jessie and what the hell were Glenn and Maggie doing in that guard tower?

    Find out in the next instalment of McGovernah! The greatest story ever told! (well,at least in this thread!)


    Thanks again to @HateForTheMasses my collaborator in insanity.

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    Before the next instalment of McGovernah! a status report of our key players:



    McGovernah! Ship of Dreams. Status: Alive,waiting impatiently in Woodbury for Bengay cream and eyepatches(and whatever ELSE is in that backpack! *shudder*).




    McLeod's Special Bounty Hunter Unit.

    Abuela. Status: Alive,although after killing Gargulio with her signature WWE move her future could be in jeopardy. The Gov may be bought off with Gargulio's severed head,but what about McLeod?

    Percy. Status: Deceased,begged for death after witnessing the contents of the backpack. Wimp.

    Nicholas. Status: Deceased....no-one cares.

    Axel. Status: Alive but endangered. You don't mess with Carol Peletier,I don't care how beautiful your mustache is.

    Jessie. Status: Alive-just. Bitten by walker Nick. Condition unknown but it may have improved her skill-set and personality.

    Oscar. Status:WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT OSCAR!!!...... JEEZ!!!......LET IT GO WILL YA!!!


    Walker Decoy Pets.

    Walker Randall. Status: Alive....no wait,dead....oh whatever-he's still here.

    Walker Penny. Status:See Walker Randall!


    Additional Players.

    Gargulio. Status: Deceased but his head is in Abuela's bag,so that's something!

    Adopted Psycho Lizzie. Status: Alive. The continued survival of this precious commodity should be considered top priority-after the backpack-Abuela's survival counts on it.

    Walker Nick. Status: Alive/Dead(you know the drill) Also considered top priority as he directly influences the mental well being (HA!) of Psycho Lizzie.



    Team Family.

    Carol Peletier. Status: Alive/Flaming mad! She has not taken kindly to Axel's double-cross,but she might still be able to find 'uses' for him.


    Gleggie (Glaggie? Whatever!) Status: Alive/caught with their pants down. We don't know quite what they were doing in that guard tower and we probably don't WANT to know.......maybe all will be revealed in the next instalment of McGovernah!



    This recap has been brought to you as ever by pirate crackship NimbusForTheMasses.

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    Quote Originally Posted by walkertrapqueen View Post
    Nimbusforthemasses you guys have done it again! You have me on the edge of my seat wondering if our queen McLeod will finally get some relief for her aching hands. Dammit I need to know how Oscar fits in all of this my curiosity won't let me let it go!
    Queen McLeod is not a patient lady either. She's already realizing that her hands aren't in top form as she attempted to choke out Denny Ainsworth when he asked her how her day was going. Gov went ahead and shot him just to save her the hassle. Now she is feeling a little down on herself becuase she isn't used to a man having to handle her dirty work. Currently they are behind locked doors and he is comforting her to the best of his ability, but we all know that only gonna work for so long. She needs her BenGay and she needs it now.

    Meanwhile, Tomas has just realized that Lizzie is missing. He is her personal bodyguard and trained Tae Kwon Do expert. This is not good. He knows not to go into that room but if it gets out that he knew and kept it from them? Oh My.

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    Breaking news! McGuv have some new neighbors. Not much is known about this group other than that everyone is referring to them as Gareth and the Termites. No, I don't think they are some sort of cheesy band and I doubt they run a pest control service. Stay tuned. For all we know they could be a peaceful bunch and we may never hear from them again.

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    McGovernah:VI. The Long Hard Road To Woodbury.

    When we last saw them Abuela and her heroic band of Bounty Hunters were in the middle of a desperate stand-off with human incendiary device Carol Peletier and the frankly embarrassed (and embarrassing) Gleggie.
    Walker Nick, encouraged by Psycho Lizzie has taken a large chunk out of Jessie and is homing in for another bite. Abuela refusing to let herself be distracted by Jessie's screams, signals to Oscar that she is about to make it rain blood.

    Suddenly the group is distracted and confused by the arrival, seemingly out of nowhere, of a large and elaborately weaponised sleigh! It's Hershel Greene accompanied by youngest daughter Beth!

    "Daddy?" cries Maggie starting towards the sleigh, but something is terribly wrong. Hershel's head appears to have been crudely re-attached with the needle and thread from a travel sewing kit and he no longer recognizes his daughter. He is the latest in a long line of experiments by renowned C-3PO impersonator and genetic scientist Franken-Milton. Whose handiwork along with the Gov's brainwashing and waterboarding techniques, have Hershel convinced that he is a spaghetti vending Santa-hybrid.

    On closer inspection it becomes apparent that Beth's brain is in fact being kept in her skull by a band-aid and she keeps repeating that she is "so thirsty!" Hershel reaches into the sleigh and pulls out his infinite-ammo shotgun, pointing it at Maggie who, forgetting that her pants are round her ankles promptly falls over taking Glenn down with her. This buys Abuela all the time she needs. Shouting at Lizzie to get Nick and get in the sleigh, she backflips in next to Hershel discovering as she does so that the sleigh is not only full of weaponry, but also spaghetti. As the rest of the team scramble over the prone bodies of Gleggie, manly stud-muffin Axel tells Abuela to "complete the mission and save yourselves!" as he is dragged away still covered in petrol by a snarling Carol.

    Lizzie and Nick make it just in time as the sleigh begins to take off. But Jessie has made it too! She holds desperately on to the back of the sleigh ,the weight is too much and it can't take off! Lightning fast, Lizzie reaches into the huge pile of weapons and pulls out a machete. "Thwack!" she severs Jessie's arm with one blow and tosses it over to Nick to keep him quiet.

    The commotion has alerted Team Family who come running out of the prison just in time to see the sleigh take off. They frantically begin shooting but to no avail. Rick walks over to look at something that has fallen from the sleigh, it's an advertising sign for 'Hershel's Spaghetti Tuesday's'.
    He kicks it in disgust as walker Jessie lumbers over towards him and then shoots her between the eyes at point-blank range. "Get inside!" he yells at Team Family and they head back into the prison dragging a terrified Axel with them.

    In the sleigh Abuela and her team thank Santa profusely but he tells her that he was in fact on a mission to procure some moonshine to make Beth shut the hell up and only ran into them by chance. Abuela agrees that some moonshine might be just the thing she needs to placate McLeod, so they head off in the direction of the remains of the moonshine shack.
    Arriving at the shack, Abuela is amazed to see Tomas Delgado, former prisoner and now Psycho Lizzie's bodyguard appointed by the Gov. He tells her that he now goes by his professional bodyguarding name of TD.
    TD tells Abuela that he was dispatched by the Gov to find his favourite child and bring her home, but seeing as how Abuela has done the job for him, he will walk Lizzie back to Woodbury and take the glory for himself.

    Beth finds the remaining stash of moonshine and begins to drink it like water, becoming increasingly annoying and shouting that she is strong and can make it by herself. This agitates walker Nick, who having now developed a taste for annoying blondes, bites her. Assessing the risk to Lizzie and knowing that walker Nick cannot be killed, TD immediately shoots Beth....but she refuses to die! Every member of Abuela's team takes a turn with Santa's unlimited ammo shotgun, until finally with barely anything left of her at all, TD manages to administer the death shot.

    The remaining survivors load up the rest of the moonshine in the sleigh and prepare for their return to Woodbury. Abuela watches through narrowed eyes as TD takes Psycho Lizzie and walker Nick and sets off on foot. She begins to plot her revenge.

    In Woodbury an agitated McLeod is being comforted by the Gov. Her hands are killing her and she needs her Bengay cream. She also has serious concerns about the whereabouts of Lizzie and Gargulio and has run out of patience. If she doesn't get word soon, someone is going in the torture chamber.

    Back at the prison, Daryl takes Anthony the Turtle to Tyreese's Day Care Facility. He is being sent on a treacherous mission with Michonne to stake out Woodbury and knows that Anthony will receive the finest care available from Tyreese, along with Judith and Griselda Gunderson. Daryl and Michonne say their goodbyes and set out on their mission.




    In the cell block an exhausted and frightened Axel has locked himself in his old cell and has swallowed the key. Carol rattles the bars of his cell with a prison night-stick and tells him that she will find a way to get at him.......Axel silently prays for death.

    Finally the sleigh lands in Woodbury. Nervously Abuela and her team depart. The Gov and McLeod stalk aggressively towards them. "Well?" hisses McLeod "What happened and where's the backpack?" Abuela steels herself, swallows hard and says "We have it, but there were a few problems". McLeod seethes while the Gov also silently prays for death.

    Outside of Woodbury, unseen eyes observe this exchange with interest.


    How will McGovernah take the news about Gargulio? Where are TD and Lizzie? Who is watching? What the hell is up with Santa and all that spaghetti?

    Find out (possibly) in the next instalment of McGovernah!!!


    This has been a @NimbusForTheMasses production it is not affiliated with either parent company or it's subsidiaries.











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    As it turns out Gareth is running a chartering service and has started using signs to advertise his business hoping to bring survivors in to be fed.

    The master chef is his mom Mary. She keeps her recipes top secret, but one things we do know for sure is this. No one that has ever walked through those doors has ever left. If the food is as good as the rumor mill says it then I can't blame anyone for not wanting to leave.



    Will Gareth and the Termites be able to secure the Woodburians as customers? McLeod is used to only the finest meat being on her table so they better prepare only their prime cuts for the Queen.

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