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View Poll Results: Why isn't Father Gabriel getting any?

Voters
15. You may not vote on this poll
  • Nobody watched Oz

    3 20.00%
  • The miracle white shirt repels women as well as walker blood

    0 0%
  • He's a Duggar

    0 0%
  • He's on the down low

    1 6.67%
  • He's still in mourning over the church secretary he was banging

    2 13.33%
  • He'd rather kill people

    1 6.67%
  • He's banging all the ladies but is discreet

    3 20.00%
  • Being Judith's primary caretaker now, he has no time

    3 20.00%
  • Everybody thinks he's Catholic

    5 33.33%
  • Other

    4 26.67%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Results 11 to 18 of 18
  1. Back To Top    #11
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    Governor John Dixon's Avatar

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    Horrible exorcisms aside, because this is a very plausible theory, he must be mourning the loss of his church lady friend. Not only did she keep the churches accounts in order after Gabriel scammed some cash off the top for the construction paper needed for the children's drawings; She organized the "canned food drive" (their code phrase for their sexy time). Who could blame him for mourning a loss like that? He became so despondent afterwards that only his magical white shirt could keep him clean, and on the right path. So while he's using the ruse of looking after Judith and having no time for love, he knows what the girls like. He's good with kids AND he knows how to be a badass Tarantino-like priest in the ZA. Pa-leeze! The single chicks are lining up to get a piece of him. And Olivia has NO clue why the carrots and cucumbers are selling out faster than any other vegetable at her vegetable stand.

  2. Back To Top    #12
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    Governor John Dixon's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bork View Post
    People on this forum seem particularly obsessed with sexual affairs.
    Other people on this forum seem be particularly obsessed with more abusive forms of sexual affairs. Hmm.

  3. Back To Top    #13
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    Governor Dark Nimbus's Avatar

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    Quite obviously nobody watched "Oz". But also they are letting themselves be dissuaded by that Priest's garb, blinkered fools that's not a repellent...it's an invitation! Anyone who saw "The Thorn Birds" can tell you that beneath that saintly exterior is a sexual volcano. It's been a long time since secretary lady bit the dust, or in fact anything else. Why do you think he finally flipped and unleashed Father Badass? All that tension has gotta come out somewhere, I'm just jealous of whoever finally taps that, he's going to be so wound up by then he will go for days. They will have to give him a DVD-only episode all to himself when that happens, too hot for TV. @Carl's Right Eye​ will of course have to buy multiple copies, for when the slo-mo-ing wears them out.

  4. Back To Top    #14
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    Queen Rose of The Kingdom Carl's Right Eye's Avatar

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    They will have to give him a DVD-only episode all to himself when that happens, too hot for TV. @Carl's Right Eye​ will of course have to buy multiple copies, for when the slo-mo-ing wears them out.
    That DVD would be my equivalent of "the fappening".

  5. Back To Top    #15
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    Comfortably Numb GotMyShoe's Avatar

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    Everybody thinks he's Catholic.

    Lose the collar Padre and they will come!

  6. Back To Top    #16
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    Problem Child cantgobackbob4642's Avatar
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    He's too busy crying or sucking Rick off to get a girl. He's Rick's bitch now, Oz style.

  7. Back To Top    #17
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    He he has a pair of these on back order.

  8. Back To Top    #18
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    Zombie Hoarder AllLifeIsPrecious's Avatar

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    Gabriel's already getting some from Sasha, Maggie, Rosita, and every other woman (excluding Tara because she's a lesbian). Forget Glenn, Abraham, Spencer, etc. Gabriel's in town now.

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