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  1. Back To Top    #1
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    Global Mod manscaper's Avatar

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    Masturbation As Therapy

    Preface: I almost never drink. From age 13 to 32 I was a fucking warrior, nobody could touch me. I was always the last man standing at parties. Im not bragging, its a little sad of you think about it. I’m 39 now. PNowadays, Im a family man. I have a great six figure job with the government and I am well respected in my field. Again, not bragging, just exposition (though I did just cross the six figure threshold and it feels good to say so). I was a guitarist in rock bands, I was an army airborne infantryman, Ive partied harder than any frat boy in any time, anywhere.

    Six years ago I gave that all up. I love my wife and my kids and I now only drink at meals.

    Not tonight. Tonight I drank half a bottle of Johnny Walker. Im fuckin’ shwasted. Why? Game of Thrones. Seriously. Im such a snob now, this was such a good show and I actually enjoyed season 8 barring episode 4. But the finale was unforgivable. I invested 9 years into this show. This great, great show. It was hot shit in a champagne glass. And it went out like cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup.

    How do I cope?

    Dear readers, Im going to be blunt. I am always blunt, its a Manscaper thing, but tonight Im going to be real blunt. For real real blunt. Im going to jack my dick.

    But how should I go about it? Should I just watch a pornhub vid and pump one out in two minutes?
    That doesn't seem right. Should I play a few rounds of Date Ariane and hope to crank something? That just seems sad. Maybe go old school and find a chat room to seek out a partner for some cyber action? That would be insanely time consuming and I believe I’d have to view more dick pics than I am comfortable woth in orxsr to get a good return on my investment.

    So what do I do? I am rapt in the pains of affluence...

  2. Back To Top    #2
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    Lookout AnteroX's Avatar
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    bout to do that right now

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