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Thread: "Betrayed"

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    Banned User Ripley's Avatar
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    "Betrayed"

    I wrote this piece from a prompt of "cold hospital light" because I wanted to explore a betrayal of trust between a doctor-patient relationship and the horror of knowing you have

    placed yourself, with good intentions & no clue, into bad hands. Also wanted to use the ways in which drugs or anesthesia distort our senses and create weird passages of time,

    hallucinations while we are under



    Neutral prompts are great for letting stories evolve; I gave it some time, went back and fleshed out the original story after editing for typos, etc.



    Feel free to leave feedback, as is always appreciated...

    ****


    I am lying on the table with a pillow under my back to relieve pressure on the spinal disc I ruptured 2 nights ago. The stabbing pain in my back whenever when I breathe or move is gone.


    The room is cold, but still warmer than with the last surgery; a heated blanket covers me from chin to toes, hiding the arm and leg restraints tethering me to the side rails of the bed.
    A humidifier hose is on my chest, easing the dryness of my lungs. I feel proud for advocating with the staff for the higher temperature, the blanket and humidifier- all things my body needs today.


    A nurse puts ointment into my left eye to prevent injury, then tapes a clear plastic drape to both cheekbones. I will have small bruises on my face for a least a week after surgery- at least I did after the first two operations. This is my third eye surgery, the one to fix a surgical error two weeks ago.


    I am calm, completely pain-free for the first time in over a year- ready for sleep. Now I am standing on the beach, in the Outer Banks, feeling heavy sunlight, tasting salt spray on my face as pounding high-tide surf roars between the voices of desperate gull. Now see the night sky, picking out stars and planets up in the midnight blueness. I realize I am hostage to deep anesthesia, and drift to the words of the people.


    "Oh, there's a problem", doctor says, as his voice gets fainter. I wait for someone- nurses, anesthetist, anyone- to ask what is wrong. After long silence, I fight myself, croak, "What is wrong?"


    The doctor says, "It never occurred to me that the lens might be defective but I can see it here. The magnification is better here than the office". I think, "That's equipment issue-not me...." I leap in, "…you ruled it out!". "Keep flushing the cornea while I think about this!", he says curtly to someone standing behind my left ear. My right eye floods with cold, held open by some unknown tool.



    I think only in words now, pull myself up from the drugs. Be careful", I think, "Don’t… angry… he…" Heavy weight pulls me into greyness, I rebel, trying to move, …Wake up!...talk to the doctor…Help me!...I'm too drugged…


    After a silent lake floats past I ask, “… warranty- replace.." but the doctor cuts me off, anxious to start. "I don't have a replacement but yes, it is under warranty. These are made to order and then shipped out so I don't have a lens on hand." He sounds unsure. No one speaks but we all hear.


    I push hard to think a sentence, birth words from fear. “…lens and then surge, surge, serj…” One more operation, not two. Let him be mad, doesn't matter- I am fighting for my life, made silent by his drugs.


    Why isn’t the staff speaking up, helping me? I don't want this today since it means an extra, unnecessary operation, more wear and tear on my body, more risks from anesthesia or infection and more recovery. Silence...why are the other people so quiet? Please, someone help me!


    In a flinty tone, doctor says, "Well, we are already here today. I think I can play with the lens, move it back into the right position." I manage weakly, "Wait...no...don't want this..."
    My body goes cold after the doctor says impatient but firm, "Put her out, I'm going ahead..." And I feel myself slowly pulled down into the warm black clouds below my feet, screaming , "No, I don't want this! Stop! stop! STOP!" Then I am gone to some other place, where there is nothing, and I am nothing...


    ------


    I wake up gasping and sweaty, sitting straight up in bed in the darkness broken only by the streetlamp outside the window. The hair on my neck is up while my pulse races. Did I scream out loud or just in the nightmare? No, Jasper is asleep at the foot of the bed. I haven't disturbed the woman sleeping a floor below my bedroom.


    My neck and back muscles spasm tightly causing waves of pain from my neck to waist. I work my tingling right hand, flexing my fingers, rotating my wrists, rubbing the knots from my palm. Maxell pushes his head under my hand, purring as my tears roll off his furry back.


    I sigh, turn on the light and get out of bed for the fourth time in the past seven nights. I won’t sleep again tonight. The clock across the room reads 3:19 am as I head into the kitchen for a bracing mug of tea.

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    Samurai shadix99's Avatar
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    DOPE

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    It has the start to be an interesting story.

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